I'm really sorry for my absence in the blog, I know I should have uploaded my Senior memories like a week ago, but...well, no matter how many excuses I give you, I'd be still feeling guilty.
I've got some updates about My life lately:
-Became friends with the guy I dated for two months, Awkward at times, but still he's the only one who gets me calm when I feel like shit....and I believe we now are truly JUST friends, no kidding. He says I'm shameless on everything I do, and I guess he's right, I'm just not afraid to say whatever I got on my mind, or to be open and social...but I do know I need to start FILTERING my opinions...oops!
-Still feel like shit at times, 'cause even if I don't want to have a bad taste of guys, I just can't get enough, and I want to be dating one again. I guess it's a plain physical need, not like sex or else, but a hug and a kiss to make me feel needed. I WANT A SEXY MAN!! (lol)
-The situation in Japan makes me feel really bad and sad; I really wish I could cry, but even if I feel a knot in my chest, no tears come out. -.- It's frustrating. Anyways, all of my prayers are with them, and I'm asking God, to please, show all of His mercy with the world, it's getting harder to live in everyday: Natural disasters and intolerance is killing all of us, insecurity is just getting worse everyday.
-I'm overwhelmed over the fact that the way my life is going is making me feel stupid for two reasons:
*I've been neglecting my work and my duties as a teenager: I'm not doing all of my job at school and I feel useless when it comes to doing my part at home...I feel like I'm the one who's guilty of the economic crisis at home, my parents are paying for my excursion and lots of other stuff we've been needing here; and still I am just a weight for them asking for money all the time.
*I'm URGING a CHANGE in my life, and I don't mean a change like having a guy by my side, even though that's a big part of it, but also that I feel quite like a SLOTH (or as I say in spanish: "MORSA" or walrus.) I want to start working out at the gym, but there's no money and it's quite expensive, and they say I should work out at home, but I'm just to lazy, I can't work out if I'm not under pressure -.-...and I want also to change something about my physical aspect, like the way I have my hair (haircut) or the color of it (dye it) but I just can't think of anything I could dare to do that goes beyond getting bangs...which needs lots of work if I want it to look nice. REMEMBER: I'm the brunette with long wavy hair, which makes it hard to keep it under control lately.
I realize that all of this is MY FAULT, really I NEED A CHANGE, otherwise...things will be only getting worse and more messed up in my life.
OK, so...I can't think about other details I should be telling you from my life, right now, but SERIOUSLY I promess not to be so absent or to wait so long before I share my experiences with you.
and to conclude my life update: I LOVE MY BEST TRUE FRIENDS CAMILLE, IZZIE AND CLAIRE SO MUCH!!
with love, XOXO,
-EMMA!! :D
P.S.: I wish the one of the picture was me, but I'm sorry to disappoint you guys, I don't have a tattoo, or at least I haven't dare to do one; but please understand: it goes against my ethical point of view and we're talking about something that is forever, which is a lot! I'm still doubting if this is my final say. :O
