WHEN EVEN THE SHORTCUT SEEMS LONG

And there it is again...that thing you desperately want, but can't have...YET!

What happens when you want something, but you can't have it? you want it more, but sooner or later it finally sinks in that you can't have it so you wisely stop torturing yourself over wanting something impossible to happen and go back to your normal life. BUT, when you want something really bad, and you KNOW you CAN have it, just not right away...then seconds become days, and the days years, and it becomes almost unbearable to wait for it.

Because that's how we are, IMPATIENT, immediately irritated with even the idea of having to wait for something we want! and let me tell you something, wanting something really bad has nothing wrong with it...the problem is when instead of waiting you start plotting in your head ways to speed up the process and end up ruining things. Its better to wait and have, than rush and miss.

Remember that “All things come to him who waits” -WW

- Claire

ABOUT DISAPPOINTMENTS AND SUCH...

So as you might have guessed from the title, I want to dedicate this post to all the people out there who have ever been disappointed...if you find yourself thinking about how awesome your life is, and you can't remember any time you were disappointed...well stop kidding yourself! we all go through it!

One can be disappointed by, friends, family, mentors, experiences, places, things, presents, etc...the disappointment comes from the feeling of sadness or displeasure caused by the non-fulfillment of one's hopes or expectations...meaning if you didn't have hopes or expectations, you would never suffer from disappointment, but wouldn't it be horrible to go around not having hopes and dreams, not wishing or expecting anything? of course it would! what a cold, plain and boring life that would be! that's why we need hopes and expectations in our life. The only way to deal with this, and avoid being disappointed, is accepting the fact that when things don't turned out the way you planned, its simply because God has something better in store for you.

The worst kind of disappointment ever (that I happened to be feeling yesterday) is when you disappoint yourself...because since there's no one to blame, the entire weight of the problem falls on you...but if you ever feel this kind of disappointment, just remember, we are humans and we make mistakes...

“If you CAN solve your problem, then what's the NEED of worrying? and if you CANNOT solve it, then what's the USE of worrying?” - Gandhi

- Claire

MY MOTHER IS IN LOVE WITH MY EX!!

Can you believe it?! Well... that's my theory.


Ok, I've always known that she appreciated him but I NEVER knew that she... LOVED(S) him? 
You must think I'm crazy but It's true! I mean, get over him mom! Ok ok, I'll tell you my story...


When I was going to start in the academy (acting academy), I told myself: "Camille, don't get emotionally in love (haha) with someone..." 
First month: Ok...
Second month: "I like this guy."
Second month and 2 weeks: "I don't like him anymore."
Third month (Dancing show of 3rd semester): "OMG, who is this GUY?!."
Third month and 1 week: "Hi, I'm, Camille :)
Third month and 3 weeks: *FLIRTING*
Fourth month: HE GAVE ME THE FIRST KISS :D
End of semester: We are together :) And he was SO HOT in the last dancing show... 


Anyway, I told my family: FAMILY! I'M WITH SOMEONE...
Reactions:
Sister: "OMG!! Who is he?! Is he cute?!"
Daddy: "HUH!"
Mom: "UGH..." *Rolling eyes*


"Ok Camille, don't over react, be serene" 


Things were normal, low profile you know, but they got ugly when I arrived home really late. My mother was furious and she even gave me "THE TALK." Well, I was okay with it until I started remembering and with my ex I arrived a bazillion times late, and she never told me anything. So, I asked her: "Mom, what's up with my ex?" And she answered me: "Well, you know he was different, he was... you know, he was him..." 


HIM?! HIM!!! HE WAS HIM?!?!?! MARRY HIM MOM! 


Seriously? It took me 2 years to get over this guy, and she won't get rid of him, she won't accept someone else in my life... However, this ends with me confronting her and clearing things. Now she just have to live with the sad memory of my (STUPID) ex.


"In every girl's life, there comes a moment when she realizes that her mother just might be more messed up than she is..." -BW. If anyone of you is going through something like this: Help your mother! It's not easy, but eventually she'll accept it...


Hope you have enjoy (laugh a bit)


XXOX
-Camille ;)

A TOAST FOR THE PERFECT SUMMER!!!

 

Whether it is hanging out with your friends, taking advantage of the free time to make a few extra bucks, feeling the love in the air, taking courses and being productive, or simply laying back relaxing and enjoying the weather, summer is the best time of year! Marvelous things can happen if you use your time wisely.

And since we have only one summer each year why not try to make it wonderful!?! My goal for this summer is to do every single thing I just mentioned above! I see my friends frequently, I'm trying to get a job, I'm taking acting classes, I'm enjoying my free time, and tomorrow morning I leave to this amazing location for a week with the love of my life!

But whatever it is you are doing, make sure to have fun and make the best of it, because remember, you have to wait an entire year for the next summer.

So my dear readers, enjoy your summer! ;)

- Claire

THE BEST FEELING IN THE WORLD

 
I'm sure all of us have felt great many times in our lives, but sadly all of that seems to fade away or come to an end sooner or later...but why is that?...that's because we depend on other things to feel good, if you depend on someone to feel good, whenever that someone disappoints you, or walks away, your happiness is over. If you depend on things to feel good, whenever you are broke, or you lose or break your things, your happiness is over. So since the problem seems to be that you can't rely on outside factors to make you happy, the solution to this has to simply be to start relying only on yourself to be happy.

I started to put this into practice and I found out one of the best ways to make yourself happy is to accomplish things, there is no better feeling than that of being proud of yourself. I recently graduated from a film scholarship, as well as valedictorian from a theater scholarship, and in 9 days I'll be graduating from high school, I performed last week two original theater plays, one of them as the lead character in an amazing theater in Manhattan! and right now I'm working on getting an internship with an outstanding acting company as well as auditioning for an acting scholarship this summer with a noted acting school here in NYC. Why do I feel so amazing? why am I so happy? because even though my boyfriend broke up with me, my dad is mad at me, my mom is so busy I barely see her, and I miss my BTFs like crazy...I have to thank no one, but myself and God for all of these achievements! because no one can take away from me what I earned for myself!

So if you ever feel blue, or down, just remember you don't depend on anyone to be happy. Thank God that you are alive, go out and do something for yourself, do something that makes you feel good, do what makes you happy! whether it is to succeed in something like me, or something you are passionate about like acting, dancing, or painting, give yourself a treat of your favorite food, or buy something nice for yourself...whatever it is, just do it if it makes you happy, and NEVER wait for others to do for you what makes you happy, because happiness doesn't come from others...happiness is a state of mind...happiness is a choice.

- Claire

WHAT MAKES ME ANGRY

My brain is shut and it doesn't know what to write about, so I've decided to write about: IZZIE not posting in the blog!! YEAH EMMA!! YOU! 
She's SO lazy, besides she doesn't get this seriously -.- 
UGH, I'm tired of fighting with her because of this... So, I'll leave it to Claire :)
Well... That's it, haha, sorry... :) I hope you enjoy :)
XXXO
-Camille
P.S: Izzie, when you read this: NOW THAT YOU ARE ON VACATIONS YOU DON'T HAVE EXCUSES!!! I love you :)

LET'S ALL WISH A REALLY HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO Claire!!!

Hon, we love you a lot and I pray to God to give me more years with you as my best friend, even in the distance, because this friendship is beautiful.

Thanks for being such a wonderful person that makes the world a nicer place everyday, because everything we do that shows love, makes the world go round.

I wish you the best in the years to come, and all of the blessings God can give you forever.

WE LOVE YOU!

-Me

I KNOW I'M WRONG, BUT I HAVE THE RIGHT TO STAY THAT WAY!!!

Ok, so we've all been in those situations where we are hard-headed and stubborn, and we know we are wrong BUT WE DON'T CARE! because if we are wrong, and we know we are wrong, and we stay that way, its because we freaking want to! so we just hope and wish people stop being slow and get it!

There's nothing more irritating than having someone try to give you some wise words of advise, in that calm-adult voice they have, acting like they know everything, feeling all mature...or those people who make the worst attempts of pep talk ever...when they don't know shit! bitch you are not me, you have no idea how I feel, you've got no clue of what's best for me, and if being stubborn and acting like an ass is fucking making me feel better, then get the hell out of my way!

Yeah yeah...I know what you are thinking...you're thinking I'm not right, that I should be writing peaceful words of how you have to listen to others because they care about you and stuff like that...well guess what? even if I'm wrong I have the right to stay this way! and let me tell you something, if you were pissed like I am, and mad and upset and sad and depressed and hopeless and stressed and frustrated and irritated and heart broken like I am, then you would agree with me right now...

I'm really sorry you had to read this...and I hope my post doesn't change anyone's mood, for some lighter reading check on us in a few days to read next week's post...and from the bottom of my heart I wish you all never to feel this way, because it sucks, but if you ever feel like I do, then I'm deeply sorry, and good luck...


- Claire

PASSION IS ETERNAL LOVE

 

In dance class, my teacher assigned each of us a feeling so we could… express it through a song. Guess which feeling was assigned to me? PASSION! 

What is PASSION? What is that thing that everyone talks about? How can I put that in the scenario when I don’t know what the HELL is?! 

If you search Wikipedia, passion is: *intellectual accent* a very strong feeling about a person or thing. Well… as soon as I found this definition I start thinking, WHAT TO DO?! I thought of a bull, of love, of… ANYTHING! But at the end I found my real passion: MY DREAM. 

I found out that just being on the scenario performing is my passion. The lights, the audience, the adrenaline, my dreams, being an artist, being admire for what I do; that’s it. 

Passion is the motor that helps me stand for what I want, for the dreams God gave me. Passion is an eternal love for acting, dancing and singing. Passion is that something that won’t let me quit. 

Passion never dies, is always there, and let me tell you something: if you are not passionate for what you do, you just weren't born for that. 

Follow your dreams, God gave them to you so you can chase them, catch them and live them. Don’t give up on what you love, want and wish. Never quit the battle if you haven’t fight and always stand for what you believe. 

Life's a long road, keep walking. 

KEEP DREAMING. 

XXOO 

-Camille 

P.S: “Don’t let the fear of striking you out; keep you from playing the game.” –Cinderella Story

Let the bad times roll...and the good ones, too.

Lately we've been quite absent in the blog but that doesn't mean we stopped loving each other, that doesn't mean our lives aren't fun and hectic...it's just we've been quite busy with all of that, and now we're back to tell you all about it.

I have to admit, my life's been quite a mess (and not all bad, I'm just not prepared for all this shit) in every single possible way, after that terrible depression from December (don't get me wrong, I'm not depressive, I only had this one terrible month at the end of last year).

I started college (finally) this year, and concerning this topic, I had some cold feet in the middle of the semester about the major I'd chosen. 

But warming up into the important topic here, I'm gonna start from the beginning: we met last year at a close mutual friend's arty and we only spoke a couple of times because he lives quite away. We started speaking around Jan and hit it off right away, he liked me, and the fact that he was so wrong and unavailable for me, made him so desirable to me...despite that he was not that attractive, I starting liking him and wanting all about him after 3 months speaking...and Spring break was coming, and we were about to meet. Long story short, he told me he was seeing someone, truth is, I was seeing someone too, here in my city. We saw each other, and for the first time in my life I felt so many things at the same time.

It's true about me, that I'm kind of a guy when it comes to feelings and relationships, as my friends say...I'm a little jerk about it, I find it hard to trust and hard to love someone that way. 

Previously, and correct me if I'm wrong, or if that post was deleted, but you know I made some mistakes last year, when it comes to guys...speaking more specifically, I behaved a little with the morals of a guy...if you know what I mean...

Okay, so getting back in track, I felt I didn't care about anything, I wanted to do whatever I wanted, no matter the consequences and no matter what my heart and mind told me: it was all wrong, and the price, I had to pay with guilt and hardness in heart. I wanted all of him so bad, and I couldn't understand why; I wanted him to remember me, have something from me, that even if it was easy for him to get from other women, I wanted to give to him, and to have me as a good reference about it.

I know my attributes, I feel better looking and I know that I was the one he wanted to be with...but the coldness in his heart only expressed how he could only think one minute at a time, and that speaking and skypeing with me every day for three months, meant nothing from one day to another. 

I thought I was tough and could handle all of it, but when he left, it was exactly like Gotye's song, he was just somebody that I USED to know...or at least the little part he showed me, and I liked...I tried so many new things, I learned new things, and experienced so many new stuff...(don't get me wrong, not everything I say has to do with sex)...even if I confess that I am kind of like a guy about it...I think about sex almost all the time....jajaja

Well, I thought everything wouldn't matter when he left because I had someone here...but when things got tense and that thing I had with this other guy made me realize how consuming that was, I couldn't stop thinking of him, and how bad I wanted him...because I couldn't make him mine, not even when he was here...but I felt happy when we were together, that was the only moment I didn't feel wasted, and I like those memories, and I cherish them, because that's all I'm gonna have.

The thing with the guy here didn't work, and I started weighing opportunities other guys, and the ones I had friend-zoned so bad...how much I deserved guys like them...but I didn't want to do it only for the heck of not being alone...

So here I am, finally ending this semester, still having some second thoughts, and well....we still speak to each other, I have to admit I'm in great terms with all of those guys...friends and...well...whatever you want to call the other two...I wanted to see him again, and the only thing that made my feet come back to the ground, was the fact that he told me some cold truth, and I loved that, I loved that so much, that even if the rest of my life is full of other complicated stuff, he makes me tougher, and better in some awesome way...I love that.

I'm not sorry for this long post, it makes me feel relieved. I AM sorry that I'm not gonna post some of those hipster/emo/kinda-weird pictures, I just don't like them...maybe one day I find some cool pictures worth posting here from my behalf...and I know you'll enjoy them.

The desire is not going anywhere, but I'm still here, and I'm glad I feel that way, because it makes me human. There's nothing wrong with how you feel, because they are your feelings, no one can judge them, they are simply yours.

Happily trying to make this easier to get written, and to be responsible, 

lots of love

-Me :)